I'm Sorry, I Have toTalk About Sex.

I have to talk about how frisky I have been feeling. Yes, I know because I haven't had sex, I am frisky. Being in a secure, intimate relationship where I can have sex whenever I want, I should not be feeling frisky. But, I am. Perhaps it's because I have an energetic 16-month old son who drains my daytime energy and leaves me too tired at night to try anything romantic, intimate, and sexy with my man. Even so, I should be able to squeeze in a quickie to calm this intense passion. However, it is not easy for women to be as easily sexually-satisied as it is for men. Women have to work harder to acheive orgasm. Perhaps it is due to our internal system, but, from experience, I know it takes me longer than my guy... well, most of the time. Sometimes, it's an easy explosion, but, for the most part, I can only achieve orgasm one way (for sure) and I have to work for it--especially if I want it to be mind-blowing and relaxing thereafter. I can conclude that the concept of multiple orgasm stems from women's ability to have multiple orgasm from one session of sexual intercourse. I certainly wouldn't pertain it to men who orgasm and need a moment to revitalize--though, I know men can do it again shortly thereafter. For me, however, I have found ways to have the most-multiple, mind-blowing orgasms ever, and, I am left breathless and in a state of euphoria.

Sex is a mysterious endeavor. I love it and hate it. I love how it gives me intense energy and passion--yet, I hate how it turns my hormones inside-out. Either way, I can tell my present friskiness is from abstaining from sexual intercourse. I have not  made a vow to abstain; however,  I want to do it when I can find the time and achieve my most highest orgasm--which will calm my most passionate desire. I concur I will do it after I go out dancing and use my passionate energy to satisy my soul in other ways!

Yaay!!

So, it's been a lil' over a year since I wrote this as my first hub since I was feeling quite frisky at the time. Hee-hee! It's a great subject, but with the act of needing it, comes the act of sharing it with someone I love.

I have been together with my guy for seven years in July. We have 2 babies together, so it is infrequent than it was over two years ago. Well, perhaps one year ago because our youngest is 3 months. Anyhow, it has been harder because both my guy and I are more tired; however, we still get inklings.... And, though, I know time/sex/togetherness is tougher with babies, I also know each person has to make the effort.

The thing which gets me, though, is the intimacy. Whomever said, "Intimacy is a real bitch" is correct. I mean, I suppose it is the connection two lovers are supposed to feel while doing it, but it is also a higher level each is supposed to achieve. At least for me, anyway.

I believe in astrological means. As a scorpio, it is in my stars how I interpret sexual intercourse and connection. I suppose I take it on a deep level..."like the ocean," articles state.

My guy is a gemini. He's air, I'm water. We make rain. Nourishing, cleansing, flooding, etc. The sex is great between us because his build, height, and size are great! And, we do connect while we're doing it...and achieve orgasm.

Recently, I've been trying to connect with him more on a spiritual level. I suppose I am really into my spirituality right now. I have always been spiritual in my beliefs; however, now that I am about to turn 30 years old, I am dwelving into where living things go when they die. I mean, is it really just heaven or hell, or, are those just labels? Do we ascend/descend as ghosts---spiritual beings--and enter into an unknown realm, only touched by NDE (near death experiences)? Is it scary for the majority of humans to die alone because no one really knows what happens after death, except through religious/spiritual heresay?

I must admit, I was chatting online about my spiritual beliefs. According to a quiz I took, I connect with Buddhism, Paganism, General Chrisitianity, and Hinduism, I think. I've always known I believe in karma. I've always known I value nature. General Christianity is the belief in the Holy Trinity and at least some moral standards, like not supporting abortion, though one can do it according to need or not. (Kinda like a meat-eating vegetarian to me.) I mean, I don't want to be a hypocrite, but I also believe some things we do as humans are a contradiction of itself; therefore, humans do things according to the present moment, childhood conditioning, and moral character. I ain't no saint, but I'm hardly a sinner either. Or, am I? What is the true golden rule other than to love another as you love yourself?

I could go on and on about my beliefs, but, for now, I want to discuss my sexual connection with my other. We're not married because I do not fully know what I believe with the spiritual value of marriage vs. the societal means of it. Is it really a spiritual endeavor, or is it written in religion for social-human connection...so that we don't overpopulate, mutate impromperly, and cause havoc on our race? If it's merely for the latter, we'll then, I don't know if I'm just going against the human need for sex, and, can I really commit myself for life to just one person? My conditioned-self may, but, can I really do it, honorably? Can I marry, and engage in sex and commitment to another for life? Spiritually, marriage to me means you will value and respect that person for all eternity. And, though, I feel my guy and I can be friends forever, I don't know how he feels about our intimacy, especially on a deeper level.

Not too long ago, I was talking to him about his spiritual beliefs. He said something like, "Well, just Catholiscm." I was like, "just?" I was like, "what does that mean?" He told me he believed in the Holy Trinity, and that was it. General Christianity, I thought, but he was brought up to value the Holy Mother. This is quite true due to the beliefs of my would-be mother-in-law.

Hmm, I thought, great! Here I was, contemplating my spiritual beliefs, dwelving deep into the realms, and all my guy of 7 years can say is he believes Jesus lived. That's it!

To conclude this small piece on our sexual connection, I'm still not there. I mean, I don't know how I interpret our intimacy vs. our values. He wants to marry because the Church says so, and he wants no one else at the moment, or for the last 7 years. Likewise, because I value and respect our relationship. He has satisfied me in so many ways, and I truly love him. I love him enough to marry him in a church because I am willing to take a vow that I will love and respect him forever. I just don't want to marry because what if one of us strays...or connects with another differently? Will we destroy that vow which is a form of mutual respect?

If my guy and I had similiar beliefs, we would understand and respect another forever. Though we probably should have looked more into our spirituality before having offspring, we weren't conditioned to do so. So, here we are on different planes. We respect and love each other presently, and each one of us is committed to the other person; however, will it last forever on earth? Can we really do it when 50% of other couples in the U.S.A. can't? And why can't a lot of people do so? Is it because societies are (or are becoming) so complex that human relationships are more of a strain than harmonious?

Seven years now... seven years later?

Ha, I just reread this hub, my first one on here. I musta been quite frisky that day, as that happens. Hee hee!

I want to update this hub because somehow, and most-likely from the natural essence of growing each day, I have changed incredibly since 3 months ago. Perhaps it's due to discovering more of my spiritual beliefs; I wanna state what I've concluded to some of the stuff I was questioning before.

Marriage. I'm about to write a hub on it. I went to the Hubpages.com forum and read a few posts which talked about marital issues. "Free pass," how to keep it exciting, do you really love him or her? Wow--marriage has so much involved! I was more in-tuned to the replies, though. I read sarcastic remarks and people genuinely giving feedback, and whom been married over 30+ years. Great! I was searching exactly for that--someone married over 30 years whom had feedback on marriage. I only found two older men (by the looks of the profile picture and statement of 30+ years of marriage,) and even though it was only two, their responses were so similiar, each stating how much he loved his wife, and if he could go back and do it all over again, he would re-marry the same woman!

Wow, I thought, musta been some kind of woman! I wondered how each woman must have been as a wife to get that kind of respect and gratitude from her husband.

As I read people's statement saying they have tried and failed, I sensed a hurt and hesitation toward marriage which appeared to have scarred them. Okay, maybe I am digging too deep into the words, or maybe I'm just a sucker for true love and pain, but it was not surprising for me to read so much hurt and hesitation on the topic. In fact, that was the reason I went to the forum--to read about people's experience with marriage. Not only am I supposed to take the vow soon, I am hesitant towards the concept of marriage. One can read all about all of this in my hub, Marriage.

I also recently chatted with someone who seemed a little pissed off about my sex-talking hubs, stating I should mention the use of communication, and that I seemed to not really know what I was talking about--that I must not be able to "come."

Ummm...no, my hub was about women achieving orgasm, and I was declaring it as a fact that women can because I have been experiencing it since a tender age. It was a male, and the more I chatted about my experiences, the more he became quiet. Goodness--hopefully not a ploy to get me to chat about my experiences to up his. I didn't take it that way as he stated he had a degree in Psychology. Well, good, then--we can chat about this topic like mature adults! Anyway, I don't think I convinced him about the female orgasm.

To conclude this update, as PEPPER, my second most-favorite band of my time says in their song, Point-and-Shoot, "I'm exactly where I want to be...." I am more mesmerized by my dreams and present happenings right now than my sex life. It is good, but there are other things right now that are better.